Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Music

That David Byrne has gone and done it again.
He streams music from his website here. The playlists he puts together are fantastic. This month is no exception , an eclectic collection of pop music that spans a wide range.

Last fall, when I was thinking about my brother, and wondering if he was going to pull through, (he did), I listened to it all day, everyday. It was a blend of 60's psychedelic and music inspired by this era. I heard songs that could only be described as the background soundtrack to my early childhood. It took me back to kindergarten and the first grade... memories. During that time, I actually felt as if I went back there. Most of which I have not heard since the late 60's. I never owned any of that music, I was too young, but I do now, thanks to I-Tunes.

Music is so powerful.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Dreaming...

I had two consecutive dreams last week. Both left me feeling that I was getting ahead of myself, and that I had to go back and take care of something before I could move on. That I kept having to start things over and over.

In one of the dreams, I was buying new dishtowels, I was carrying around my old dishtowels, and not only was I in the wrong store, but I completely forgot that I was left in charge of a scared four-year-old girl, whom I had left at home.
So I had to leave the (wrong) store and race back home, to take care of the girl, without buying new towels.
When I walked out of the store, I realized that the right store was next door. It has the same layout exactly, but I was in a clothing store, not housewares. A mistake that I felt that I had made before. And, as usual when I am shopping, being in the wrong department doesn't stop me from, well, shopping. I am easily distracted. Especially when shopping.
My unconscious self is nagging my conscious self, but what is it trying to tell me?

Moving Forward

I know, I am supposed to propel my life forward, that was the goal when I started this blog.
Lately I really feel as though I am ...
I've got four paintings in the works, yeah, you read right. Four.
Photos coming just as soon as they are done.

Lately, I feel as though I am a working artist, and that these paintings themselves, or the act of creating them, will lead me further along my path. I can't exactly say how or where, it's just a feeling that I have. For once I don't feel like I am wasting my time, while I am painting, but rather "at work". Nothing on the outside has changed, really, I've changed on the inside. I am more focused now, than I have been in a long time.

I attended a workshop over the weekend that involved the mapping out of my intentions. It was an involved process, that included meditation and art and all messages led to the same intention:

I must get myself out of debt. ASAP.

Really, if I did this, I would be moving ahead and it would (dis)solve a lot of my problems
(problems = obstacles in my path). Not that I don't know this, but it has been a bit more refined. I've been thinking a full-time job was my intention, and it might be. But ultimately the goal here is to pay off the credit cards. I also feel as though I could never paint enough artwork to in a year, much less sell it, to earn a living off of.
I am coming to terms with this, and getting more comfortable with the idea of working for the man.
I really have no resistance to anything. I am ready to be out of debt.
So, universe, are you listening? Did you hear what I just said?
Good.