Tuesday, February 07, 2006


I had two consecutive dreams last week. Both left me feeling that I was getting ahead of myself, and that I had to go back and take care of something before I could move on. That I kept having to start things over and over.

In one of the dreams, I was buying new dishtowels, I was carrying around my old dishtowels, and not only was I in the wrong store, but I completely forgot that I was left in charge of a scared four-year-old girl, whom I had left at home.
So I had to leave the (wrong) store and race back home, to take care of the girl, without buying new towels.
When I walked out of the store, I realized that the right store was next door. It has the same layout exactly, but I was in a clothing store, not housewares. A mistake that I felt that I had made before. And, as usual when I am shopping, being in the wrong department doesn't stop me from, well, shopping. I am easily distracted. Especially when shopping.
My unconscious self is nagging my conscious self, but what is it trying to tell me?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My mother is an artist who has been distracted her whole life. She took art courses and painted a bit but was always trying new things: making jam, stained glass, sewing, courses in metaphysics, etc. She also raised five of us so much of her time had to be spent on cooking and cleaning and shopping. She tried to carve out time for herself but the underlying message was "once the kids are grown, I'll get back to the art."

The kids grew up, she divorced my father, had to work full-time, bills to pay, clothes to buy, meals to cook ... no time for art. But finally she has realized the clock is ticking, it's now or never time.

The point (if I have one?) is, um, that it helps to validate what you need and to set aside the time to do it. I have all sorts of things that cram up my day (though thankfully working for the man is not one of them) but I make time to create every day. It may be "just knitting" (Mom doesn't understand how I could enjoy "fiddly" work) but, damn, I'm gonna do it every day because I don't want to lose that part of myself.

For whatever it's worth. :)