Music

That David Byrne has gone and done it again.
He streams music from his website here. The playlists he puts together are fantastic. This month is no exception , an eclectic collection of pop music that spans a wide range.

Last fall, when I was thinking about my brother, and wondering if he was going to pull through, (he did), I listened to it all day, everyday. It was a blend of 60's psychedelic and music inspired by this era. I heard songs that could only be described as the background soundtrack to my early childhood. It took me back to kindergarten and the first grade... memories. During that time, I actually felt as if I went back there. Most of which I have not heard since the late 60's. I never owned any of that music, I was too young, but I do now, thanks to I-Tunes.

Music is so powerful.

Dreaming...

I had two consecutive dreams last week. Both left me feeling that I was getting ahead of myself, and that I had to go back and take care of something before I could move on. That I kept having to start things over and over.

In one of the dreams, I was buying new dishtowels, I was carrying around my old dishtowels, and not only was I in the wrong store, but I completely forgot that I was left in charge of a scared four-year-old girl, whom I had left at home.
So I had to leave the (wrong) store and race back home, to take care of the girl, without buying new towels.
When I walked out of the store, I realized that the right store was next door. It has the same layout exactly, but I was in a clothing store, not housewares. A mistake that I felt that I had made before. And, as usual when I am shopping, being in the wrong department doesn't stop me from, well, shopping. I am easily distracted. Especially when shopping.
My unconscious self is nagging my conscious self, but what is it trying to tell me?

Moving Forward

I know, I am supposed to propel my life forward, that was the goal when I started this blog.
Lately I really feel as though I am ...
I've got four paintings in the works, yeah, you read right. Four.
Photos coming just as soon as they are done.

Lately, I feel as though I am a working artist, and that these paintings themselves, or the act of creating them, will lead me further along my path. I can't exactly say how or where, it's just a feeling that I have. For once I don't feel like I am wasting my time, while I am painting, but rather "at work". Nothing on the outside has changed, really, I've changed on the inside. I am more focused now, than I have been in a long time.

I attended a workshop over the weekend that involved the mapping out of my intentions. It was an involved process, that included meditation and art and all messages led to the same intention:

I must get myself out of debt. ASAP.

Really, if I did this, I would be moving ahead and it would (dis)solve a lot of my problems
(problems = obstacles in my path). Not that I don't know this, but it has been a bit more refined. I've been thinking a full-time job was my intention, and it might be. But ultimately the goal here is to pay off the credit cards. I also feel as though I could never paint enough artwork to in a year, much less sell it, to earn a living off of.
I am coming to terms with this, and getting more comfortable with the idea of working for the man.
I really have no resistance to anything. I am ready to be out of debt.
So, universe, are you listening? Did you hear what I just said?
Good.